View source for Social:Relationship anarchy

{{Short description|Belief that relationships should be unbound by rules except those with a mutual agreement}}
'''Relationship anarchy''' (sometimes abbreviated '''RA''') is the application of [[Social:Anarchism|anarchist principles]] to [[Social:Intimate relationship|intimate relationship]]s. Its values include [[Autonomy|autonomy]], anti-[[Hierarchy|hierarchical]] practices, anti-[[Philosophy:Normative|normativity]], and community [[Systems theory|interdependence]].<ref>{{Cite web|title=The Difference Between Relationship Anarchy and Non-Hierarchical Polyamory|url=http://www.relationship-anarchy.com/videos/2016/6/20/the-difference-between-relationship-anarchy-and-non-hierarchical-polyamory|website=Relationship Anarchy|language=en-GB|access-date=2020-05-07|archive-date=2020-05-03|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20200503103805/http://www.relationship-anarchy.com/videos/2016/6/20/the-difference-between-relationship-anarchy-and-non-hierarchical-polyamory|url-status=dead}}</ref><ref name=":2">{{Cite web|date=2020-09-05|title=The Great Showdown of Hierarchical Polyamory vs. Relationship Anarchy|url=http://thenewmodality.com/the-great-showdown-of-hierarchical-polyamory-vs-relationship-anarchy/|access-date=2022-02-14|website=The New Modality|language=en-US|archive-date=2022-01-20|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20220120105438/http://thenewmodality.com/the-great-showdown-of-hierarchical-polyamory-vs-relationship-anarchy/|url-status=live}}</ref><ref name=":3">{{Cite web|title=Can relationship anarchy create a world without heartbreak? {{!}} Aeon Ideas|url=https://aeon.co/ideas/can-relationship-anarchy-create-a-world-without-heartbreak|access-date=2022-02-14|website=Aeon|language=en|archive-date=2020-03-20|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20200320145346/https://aeon.co/|url-status=live}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web|title=What Is Relationship Anarchy?|url=https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/what-is-relationship-anarchy|publisher=Mindbodygreen|access-date=2023-04-26|website=MBGRelationships|date=2 August 2020|archive-date=2023-04-26|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230426200016/https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/what-is-relationship-anarchy|url-status=live}}</ref> RA is explicitly anti-[[Social:Amatonormativity|amatonormative]]<ref>{{Cite web|date=2018-05-09|title=Are You Radical Enough to Be a Relationship Anarchist?|url=https://www.gq.com/story/relationship-anarchy|access-date=2022-02-14|website=GQ|language=en-US|archive-date=2020-03-20|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20200320213043/https://www.gq.com/story/relationship-anarchy|url-status=live}}</ref> and anti-mononormative and is commonly, but not always, [[Social:Non-monogamy|non-monogamous]].<ref name=":3" /><ref name=":0">{{Cite web|last=Lopez|first=Veronica|date=2021-10-15|title=Here's What to Know About Relationship Anarchy|url=https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sexopedia/a37973461/relationship-anarchy/|access-date=2022-02-13|website=Cosmopolitan|language=en-US|archive-date=2021-12-06|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20211206194702/https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sexopedia/a37973461/relationship-anarchy/|url-status=live}}</ref><ref name=":1">{{Cite web|last=Heaney|first=Katie|date=2018-10-23|title=What It's Like Being a Relationship Anarchist|url=https://www.thecut.com/2018/10/what-does-relationship-anarchy-mean.html|access-date=2022-02-14|website=The Cut|language=en-us|archive-date=2022-04-17|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20220417014230/https://www.thecut.com/2018/10/what-does-relationship-anarchy-mean.html|url-status=live}}</ref> This is distinct from [[Social:Polyamory|polyamory]], solo poly, swinging, and other forms of “[[Social:Dating|dating]]”, which may include structures such as amatonormativity, [[Hierarchy|hierarchy]] of intimate relationships, and [[Autonomy|autonomy]]-limiting rules.<ref name=":2" /><ref name=":0" /><ref name="De las Heras Gómez pp. 644–660">{{cite journal |last=De las Heras Gómez |first=Roma |title=Thinking Relationship Anarchy from a Queer Feminist Approach |journal=Sociological Research Online |publisher=SAGE Publications |volume=24 |issue=4 |date=2018-12-20 |issn=1360-7804 |doi=10.1177/1360780418811965 |pages=644–660 |s2cid=220124663 |url=https://qsu070.noblogs.org/files/2020/10/De-las-Heras-G%C3%B3mez-2018-Thinking-Relationship-Anarchy-from-a-Queer-Feminist-Approach.pdf |access-date=2022-12-19 |archive-date=2022-12-19 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20221219162224/https://qsu070.noblogs.org/files/2020/10/De-las-Heras-G%C3%B3mez-2018-Thinking-Relationship-Anarchy-from-a-Queer-Feminist-Approach.pdf |url-status=live }}</ref> It has also been interpreted as a new paradigm in which closeness and autonomy are no longer considered to create dilemmas within a relationship.<ref>{{cite web |last1=Guillén |first1=Ricardo |title=Beyond romantic love – an analysis of how the dilemma of closeness vs. autonomy is handled in relationship anarchy discourse |url=https://lup.lub.lu.se/student-papers/search/publication/8968241 |website=LUP Student Papers |publisher=Lund University Libraries |access-date=29 November 2021 |archive-date=19 October 2021 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20211019121447/https://lup.lub.lu.se/student-papers/search/publication/8968241 |url-status=live }}</ref>

==History==
Andie Nordgren popularized the term "relationship anarchy"<ref name=":2" /><ref name=":3" /><ref name=":1" /> in her 2012 [[Company:Tumblr|Tumblr]] essay "The short instructional manifesto for relationship anarchy",<ref>Nordgren, Andie. [https://log.andie.se/post/26652940513/the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship "The short instructional manifesto for relationship anarchy"] {{Webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20200320143011/https://log.andie.se/post/26652940513/the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship |date=2020-03-20 }}, Andie's Log, July 6, 2012.</ref> which she translated from her own [[Social:Swedish language|Swedish]]-language "''Relationsanarki i 8 punkter''" (lit. ''Relationship anarchy in 8 points'').<ref>{{Cite web|title=The short instructional manifesto for relationship anarchy|url=https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/andie-nordgren-the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship-anarchy|access-date=2022-02-14|website=The Anarchist Library|language=en|archive-date=2022-02-01|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20220201151335/https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/andie-nordgren-the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship-anarchy|url-status=live}}</ref> Other relevant writings exploring this topic within a similar time frame include "A Green Anarchist Project on Freedom and Love" and "Against the Couple Form".<ref>{{Cite web|title=love relationship - His Secret Obsession Review|url=https://sites.google.com/site/hissecretobsessionreviewx/loverelationship|access-date=2021-11-21|website=sites.google.com|archive-date=2021-11-21|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20211121051858/https://sites.google.com/site/hissecretobsessionreviewx/loverelationship|url-status=live}}</ref>

Workshops at OpenCon 2010 discussed relationship anarchy,<ref>{{Cite web|date=2013-12-03|title=So what's OpenCon all about, then? {{!}} Polytical|url=http://polytical.org/2011/10/so-whats-opencon-all-about-then/|access-date=2020-09-26|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20131203033526/http://polytical.org/2011/10/so-whats-opencon-all-about-then/|archive-date=2013-12-03}}</ref> and the [[Organization:Open University|Open University]] professor Dr. Meg-John Barker discussed it in a 2013 presentation.<ref>{{Cite web|title=Rewriting the Rules of Relationships|url=https://prezi.com/gctn6wf3bmsb/rewriting-the-rules-of-relationships/|access-date=2020-09-26|website=prezi.com|language=en|archive-date=2020-09-28|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20200928001339/https://prezi.com/gctn6wf3bmsb/rewriting-the-rules-of-relationships/|url-status=live}}</ref> In the International Non-Monogamies and Contemporary Intimacies Conferences, since 2016, different aspects of relationship anarchy have been studied.<ref>{{cite conference |url=https://nmciconference.files.wordpress.com/2017/08/nmci2017_abstracts.pdf |title=Polynormativity!? – Revisiting the relationship anarchist critique of polyamory |first=Gesa |last=Meyer |year=2017 |conference=2nd Non Monogamies and Contemporary Intimacies Conference |location=Sigmund Freud University, Vienna}}</ref><ref>{{cite conference |url=https://nmciconference.files.wordpress.com/2017/08/nmci2017_abstracts.pdf |title=Relationship Anarchy: Breaking the paradigm|first=Amanda|last=Rose|year=2017|conference=2nd Non Monogamies and Contemporary Intimacies Conference |location=Sigmund Freud University, Vienna}}</ref> In March 2020, the first book dedicated monographically to relationship anarchy was published in Spanish  ''"[https://anarquiarelacional.com Anarquía Relacional. La revolución desde los vínculos]"'',<ref>{{Cite book|last=Pérez Cortés, Juan Carlos.|url=https://www.worldcat.org/oclc/1176250441|title=Anarquía relacional : la revolución desde los vínculos|date=2020|publisher=La Oveja Roja|isbn=978-84-16227-33-4|location=Madrid|oclc=1176250441|language=es}}</ref> translated into English in 2022 as "[https://relationshipanarchybook.com Relationship Anarchy. Occupy Intimacy]"<ref>{{Cite book |last=Pérez-Cortés |first=Juan-Carlos |title=Relationship Anarchy. Occupy Intimacy |publisher=La Oveja Roja (The Red Sheep) |year=2022|isbn=979-8-3680-3944-2|language=en}}</ref>

The general press has dealt with relationship anarchy in articles with different approaches and scopes. In 2021, ''Cosmopolitan'' magazine<ref>{{Cite news |last=Lopez |first=Veronica |date=Oct 15, 2021 |title=Here's What to Know About Relationship Anarchy |work=Cosmopolitan |url=https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sexopedia/a37973461/relationship-anarchy/ |access-date=May 23, 2023 |archive-date=May 25, 2023 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230525090137/https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sexopedia/a37973461/relationship-anarchy/ |url-status=live }}</ref> describes it as a distinct relational style, remarking on the importance it assigns to needs, boundaries and expectations, and quoting experts such as Dr. Heath Schechinger, co-chair of the [[Organization:American Psychological Association|American Psychological Association]] Division 44 Committee on Consensual Non-Monogamy and other authors and practitioners. In April 13, 2022, an article in ''Men's Health'' magazine<ref>{{Cite news |last=Moss |first=Abby |date=April 13, 2022 |title=What Is Relationship Anarchy? If Hierarchies Are Holding You Back, It Could Be for You. |work=Men's Health |url=https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a39705633/relationship-anarchy/ |access-date=May 23, 2023 |archive-date=May 27, 2023 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230527070621/https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a39705633/relationship-anarchy/ |url-status=live }}</ref> emphasizes how to put the philosophy of relationship anarchy into practice and how it leads us not to hierarchize between [[Social:Platonic love|platonic]] and [[Philosophy:Romance (love)|romantic]] relationships. It even extends that to deeply loving relationships with non-humans: the environment, pets, God or spirituality, art, music, or even football clubs.

In June 17, 2022, an article in ''{{wipe|The New York Times}}''<ref>{{Cite news |last=Safronova |first=Valeriya |date=June 17, 2022 |title=Non-Monogamy Advocates Ask Facebook to Be More Open |work=The New York Times |url=https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/17/style/non-monogamy-facebook-relationship-status.html |access-date=May 23, 2023 |archive-date=June 14, 2023 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230614054226/https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/17/style/non-monogamy-facebook-relationship-status.html |url-status=live }}</ref> stated that The Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy, or OPEN, sent an open letter to [[Company:Meta Platforms|Meta]] calling for [[Company:Facebook|Facebook]] to allow users to list more than one relationship status in their profiles, including “[[Social:Polyamory|Polyamory]],” “Swinging,” and “Relationship Anarchy". In February 8, 2023, ''The Observer'', in the article "We Can All Learn From Polyamory",<ref>{{Cite news |last=Yu |first=Jessica |date=February 8, 2023 |title=We Can All Learn From Polyamory |work=The Observer |url=https://fordhamobserver.com/71838/opinions/we-can-all-learn-from-polyamory/ |access-date=May 23, 2023 |archive-date=September 3, 2023 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230903163142/https://fordhamobserver.com/71838/opinions/we-can-all-learn-from-polyamory/ |url-status=live }}</ref> the nine statements that make up the relationship anarchy manifesto are proposed as pillars of any type relationship. It is compared to polyamory that is said to fall under the umbrella of ethical non-monogamy, identified as the set of all nontraditional connections made between more than two people. Relationship anarchy is regarded as more of a philosophy, comprising values that encourage people to form relationships based on their own wants and needs rather than traditional social rules.

==See also==
* [[Social:Anarcha-feminism|Anarcha-feminism]]
* Anarchism and issues related to love and sex
* [[Social:Anarchism#Gender, sexuality, and free love|Free love within Anarchism]]
* Queer anarchism

==References==
{{reflist}}{{Close plural relationships}}

<!--Categories-->
[[Category:Anarchist theory]]
[[Category:Interpersonal relationships]]
[[Category:Intimate relationships]]

{{Sourceattribution|Relationship anarchy}}